Surrender by silvershadeus

Will you tell me 
All your secrets
Could you really be sincere

Whisper all your inhibitions
The things you most fear

~ Surrender ~ Gloria Estefan

Following Watari through the mostly empty streets that mirrored Tokyo down to the smallest detail, Tatsumi was deep in thought. He was beginning to think that perhaps he'd been a little too...forward in inviting the other man to dinner. 

No...not forward, he felt more...unprepared for the way events were rapidly unfolding before him. 

Yes. Unprepared sounded about right.

What he had intended as an innocent invitation for a friend to join him in a meal had somehow turned into something far different. He still wasn't quite sure how things had progressed in such a manner. First had been the almost embarrassing situation of not being able to find a restaurant on Earth that was not filled to capacity with Friday night crowds.

Then had been the fact that the grocery stores were sold out of already prepared food, due to the same carnival that Tsuzuki and Hisoka had invited them to. And while Tatsumi was quite skilled at certain things, cooking was not one of them. He could not even offer to cook a decent meal for Watari as their dinner that night. 

He was positive the look of mixed shock and near-horror on his face when Watari had offered to cook had been nothing short of amusing. 003 had certainly seemed to be amused by it. Judging by the way she'd hooted herself silly, landing awkwardly on Watari's head. She would have fallen if Watari's reflexes hadn't been quite so good. 

So it was that he was now following Watari to his little-used apartment after stocking up on the basic ingredients for the dinner Watari was going to cook for them. Automatically turning the corner that led to the small apartment building Watari lived in, Tatsumi reached up to straighten his glasses out of habit. Just ahead of him, Watari was talking animatedly to the little owl perched on his head, gesturing wildly with the hand not carrying the groceries.

It made for a...nice sight that much was true. And this way he would be able to see that Watari actually ate something that day. He was of the impression that the blonde scientist had not only missed lunch that day, but breakfast as well. It certainly wouldn't be the first time something like that had happened. And Tatsumi had an unspoken obligation to Hisoka to keep as well.

The younger Shinigami had actually sounded worried about Watari when he'd informed Tatsumi that he had missed lunch earlier that day. In fact, he'd been almost unusually insistent that 'someone' check in on Watari before work ended that day. He had pointed out, several times in fact, that Watari was involved in one of his experiments at the moment. And that he would most likely starve if one of them didn't do something. 

Tatsumi had assumed that Hisoka had been aiming his rather unsubtle hints at Tsuzuki, expecting him to be the one to do something. But then he had noticed the large slice of triple-layer chocolate raspberry cake sitting in front of Tsuzuki. Who'd had an expression on his face that clearly said he was as close to Heaven as he was going to get for a long while. Somehow though, the fact that Hisoka had been addressing him had gone unnoticed until he'd seen that Tsuzuki was happily cuddling his dessert. 

Strange, that.

Usually he was fairly good at picking up on things like that. A useful ability, in his line of work.

It had been doubly odd that Hisoka had bothered to notice Watari's atypical behavior, and even more so in his hinting at Tatsumi to do something about it. Hisoka normally had only a passing interest in the lives of his fellow Shinigami outside of work. Tatsumi theorized that Hisoka felt he would be able to avoid unnecessary emotional entanglements that way. 

Sheer foolishness, of course, with Tsuzuki as his partner and Watari as Tsuzuki's partner-in-crime. The boy's plans had been doomed from the start. 

Still, Hisoka's words had lingered in the back of Tatsumi's mind the rest of that afternoon. He knew how zealous Watari could be in the pursuit of his life's work - and he knew full well what the consequences of that zealousness could be. It wasn't uncommon for Watari to skip a meal or two while working on something in his lab, but it was not something that Tatsumi liked to see. 

If he wanted to look at from a purely financial standpoint, Watari was far too valuable an asset to let him treat his health that way. But if he was to be honest with himself, and that was something he often was, Tatsumi was worried for his friend. Watari was always willing to lend a hand where one was needed. Always ready with a bright smile or jokes that only he really understood. He was always...just there. A steady pillar of support for them in times of need - and after.

And it was wrong of them to take him for granted the way they did. Assuming he would be able to some up with eh answers they needed, or that he could simply drop whatever it was he was doing to help them. But for some reason, he did. Without question, without complaint. 

"Tatsumi? Are you all right?"

Startled out of his reverie by Watari's voice, Tatsumi looked up to see Watari peering over his shoulder at him. 003 circled the blonde scientist's head like a tiny satellite, cooing contentedly to herself.

"Ah...I'm fine, Watari. Just thinking." 

Watari stared at him longer than was necessary, amber-gold eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

Tatsumi was finding it hard to keep eye contact, wondering if maybe some of Hisoka's empathy could be catching. The way Watari was looking at him, Tatsumi would have sworn that he knew. But then if Hisoka's empathy were catching - which he knew was a ridiculous thought - wouldn't Watari have to touch him to know what he was thinking? 

"We're here." Watari stated simply, flashing one of his cheery smiles at Tatsumi. "Come on up."

Shaking his head, Tatsumi swatted irritably at 003, who almost seemed to be laughing at him, her eyes bright in the darkness. She was fluttering around him now - as always - eerily silent save for her obviously amused hooting. Clacking her beak loudly as he narrowed his eyes at her, she zoomed off after Watari, who was holding the door to his apartment building open for Tatsumi.

Taking a moment to straighten his tie, Tatsumi followed at a more sedate pace - as befitted someone of his stature. Or so he told himself and the flock of butterflies currently inhabiting his stomach.

Tatsumi really didn't know what he was expecting when he entered Watari's apartment. Perhaps that same state of comfortable 'lived-in' atmosphere that could be found at Tsuzuki's apartment. Watari and he were fairly close friends, and almost unnervingly similar in behavior at times. So it would have been safe to assume that he would find that Watari's apartment mirrored Tsuzuki's in that manner.

It didn't.

In fact, it was actually rather neat and tidy. Almost up to Tatsumi's standards.

"Just take a seat anywhere," Watari called out, making his way to the kitchen, "I'll get dinner started." 

And then he was gone into the depths of the kitchen, leaving Tatsumi standing somewhat awkwardly in the middle of his living room. 

Tatsumi's initial reaction was to snoop, wandering the nice-sized room and poking at knick-knacks set up on end tables and the like. He paused at an ornate picture frame that was heavy in his hand as he picked it up. Judging from the weight alone it was expensive, more gold than anything else. Definitely worth a hefty chunk out of Watari's paycheck.

Tracing the almost lifelike burnished gold leaves, Tatsumi smiled as his eyes were inevitably drawn to the picture the frame held. The glass was polished to a shine, allowing the faces behind it to shine in their own way. 

Watari and Tsuzuki were piled on top of Hisoka who looked far less irritated than he probably should have been. The younger GuShoShin was perched on the middle of Tsuzuki's back with 003 perched on his head. Tatsumi himself was standing a little to the left and behind the tangle of bodies, with Chief Konoe. There were the slightest traces of a smile on his face.

And...they all looked so...happy.

He remembered when that particular picture had been taken. It had been on one of the seemingly endless picnics that Watari and Tsuzuki insisted on when the weather was good and they weren't working on any cases. A rare moment of peace for them.

Tsuzuki and Watari had been playing a game and Hisoka had been unfortunate enough to get caught up in the middle of it. What had it been they'd been playing? It was osme kind of child's game...what was it, again...

"Tag."

Startled, Tatsumi looked up to see Watari smiling at him in a wholly disconcerting way, some indefinable emotion flickering in the depths of his eyes. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Tatsumi entertained the thought that perhaps Watari was telepathic instead of empathic. Otherwise how could he have...

"You were talking to yourself, Tatsumi. And we were playing tag. Do you want something to drink?"

All of this was delivered in a casual, 'by the way' tone of voice that combined with the look in Watari's eyes and the little smile hovering about his lips was fairly unnerving. 

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" 

Watari's smile widened while his eyes narrowed in amusement.

"I asked you if you would like something to drink while I'm making dinner. It'll be a while, and it's been a long day." Watari explained, brushing an errant strand of honey-gold hair behind his ear. 

Tatsumi's eyes were inexorably drawn to the delicate shell of Watari's ear. How could he have failed to notice the way that - 

"Tatsumi?"

Blinking, Tatsumi slammed a mental shutter down on thoughts concerning Watari's ears and things that he'd - 

"Tea! Tea would be lovely, Watari. I would like some tea. Yes...tea, please."

Frowning, Watari took two steps forward and rested his forehead against Tatsumi's, murmuring something to himself. Tatsumi's eyes widened, and he would have pulled away, if it weren't for the fact that his body was refusing to obey him at the moment. That, and Watari's hand at the back of his neck holding him in place with his simple touch.

"Are you feeling all right, Tatsumi? You don't seem to be yourself at the moment." Watari said softly. 

Tatsumi almost jerked out of Watari's reach as Watari's other hand slid up the column of his neck, slender fingers pressing lightly at his throat. It was only when he saw the way Watari's eyes were lowered, his lips moving that he realized what the other man was doing. 

Of course. What else would he have been doing? Watari was also their doctor. How silly of him. Watari was checking for a fever and his pulse, as any good doctor would have. Of course.

So then why did Tatsumi feel so bereft when Watari drew back, frowning slightly? Certainly he hadn't been thinking that...

No.

Certainly not.

"Tatsumi?"

"I'm just a little tired, Watari. As you said, it's been a long day."

Watari nodded, though to judge by the look on his face he didn't believe Tatsumi by any means.

"I'll get us some tea, then."

Tatsumi nodded, wondering why he suddenly felt as though he'd just missed an opportunity. And just why 003 was flapping her wings at him and somehow managing to look irritated with him from her perch on the back of the couch.

Carefully setting the picture frame back to it's place on the small end-table, Tatsumi wasn't given much time to contemplate either question before Watari returned with two cups of tea.

Transferring 003 from the couch to his shoulder, Watari gestured for Tatsumi to have a seat next to him. Doing so, Tatsumi was pleasantly surprised to find that he couch was far more comfortable than it appeared. He sank a good two inches into the soft cushions.

Thanking Watari for the tea, Tatsumi sipped his gingerly, as it was quite warm.

"Watari...is this?"

Grinning, Watari wrapped his fingers around his cup.

"It took some doing, but I finally got Watson to tell me his secret. You' be amazed at what lengths the British will go to for good tea."

Tatsumi smiled, wondering just what it was Watari had done to worm the Earl's servant's secret to making such absolutely wonderful tea out of him. Not to mention *when* he'd done so. He couldn't remember having seen Watari anywhere else but his lab or in the office for the past few weeks.

Shrugging it off as inconsequential, Tatsumi decided not to question the mysteries of tea and enjoyed the moment. Beside him, Watari seemed to be doing the same, absently stroking 003's breast feathers.

Taking a final sip of his tea, Watari got to his feet. Stretching a little to get the kinks a long day of working in his lab hunched over a microscope had caused, setting off a series of cracks and pops along his spine. Tatsumi watched, not quite certain if he should be amused or alarmed at the sight.

"I'll go get dinner started then," Watari said, flashing Tatsumi another one of his cheery smiles.

"Watari, do you need help making dinner? Since I'm the one who invited you out to dinner in the first place, I feel that I should at the very least help you prepare it. It is my responsibility."

Watari stared at Tatsumi for a long moment, as though he were trying to make sense of what Tatsumi had just said. Just when Tatsumi thought that Watari would say no, the other man smiled. 

"If you would like to, that would be wonderful, Tatsumi. Things will go faster if we work together."

Taking the hand that Watari offered him, Tatsumi couldn't help but wonder why 003 started hooting quietly to herself again and looking far too amused for his peace of mind.

Watari's kitchen was almost painfully clean.

As was the rest of his apartment, it was neat and tidy, dishes and cooking utensils all put away in their proper places. Looking around in a manner that could only be described as curious, Tatsumi was once again surprised by the sight. Why couldn't Watari keep his lab as clean and orderly as he did his own home?

"Because I don't live here as much as I do my lab." Watari said, grinning at Tatsumi, eyes sparkling in amusement at the sheepish look that crossed Tatsumi's face. "You can wash and cut up the vegetables, I'll take care of the rest."

Nodding, Tatsumi took the apron Watari held out to him and slipped it on over his head. He'd left his suit jacket in Watari's living room to keep from getting it dirty. Undoing the buttons on his shirtsleeves, Tatsumi rolled the cuffs up to his elbow. 

Walking over the sink, he adjusted the water so that it was neither blistering hot nor bitterly cold. Reaching for the vegetables that Watari set out on the counter for him, Tatsumi idly wondered if letting Watari cook was a bad idea. Earlier his offer had sounded quite reasonable, but now...

"Watari - "

As though sensing Tatsumi's line of thought, Watari turned around, a bag of noodles in his hand. There was a knowing little smile on his lips.

"Don't worry, Tatsumi. Cooking is just like chemistry...only without the explosions. Most of the time."

Tatsumi dropped the tomato he was washing.

Hiding his smile, Watari turned around and emptied the contents of the bag into a pot of water already boiling merrily on the stove.

"Cooking is a kind of science, Tatsumi. You have to put in the right amount of salt, just enough lemon juice. You have to cut the vegetables up the same size, and you have to let it simmer for a certain amount of time. It's like one of my experiments."

Looking over his shoulder as Tatsumi dropped the bell pepper, Watari grinned.

"Well...perhaps that wasn't the best example to use, I suppose. Think of it this way, Tatsumi. The reasons why my experiments backfire on me so often is because I'm not working from some prepared recipe. When I make something in my lab that I know how to make, like cold medicine or other things like that, they turn out all right, don't they?"

Drying his hands on a towel 003 dropped into his hands, Tatsumi nodded.

"That's true..."

"It's like that with cooking. If I was trying to make something I didn't know how to make, or if I were trying to make something completely new it would most likely turn out to be a disaster. But since I'm using a recipe, it'll turn out good. Trust me."

With the utterance of that last phrase, Tatsumi was undone. There was precious little he could say to that. And besides, Watari had made a certain kind of logic concerning his cooking ability. 

At any rate, Watari's cooking couldn't possibly be any worse that Tsuzuki's.

Picking up the knife Watari had set out for him to use, Tatsumi started cutting up the vegetables as Watari had directed him. Nice even slices, not too big, and not too small. They needed to be the same size so that they would cook evenly.

Behind him he could hear Watari moving about, stirring the noodles occasionally, checking on some kind of sauce that smelled absolutely heavenly.

"Ah, 003. Could you hand me the rosemary?"

Curious, Tatsumi turned in time to see the little owl carrying a small package wrapped in plastic wrap over to Watari. He noticed that she was taking care not to puncture the wrapping with her talons while still maintaining a steady hold on it.

"Thank you, 003." 

003 hooted happily before returning to her perch on top of the refrigerator. 

Shaking his head, Tatsumi went back to cutting the vegetables up. He should have learned by now that things were far from normal in the Meifu...especially where Watari was concerned.

Dinner itself was a pleasant affair. Watari had made one of his favorite dishes, a derivation of pasta primavera that somehow managed to taste better than it looked. Which was saying quite a bit for Watari's culinary skills. 

Tatsumi helped clear away their dishes despite Watari's insistence that he could handle it on his own. It just didn't seem right to him that Watari should have to do it all on his own. Oddly enough, Watari didn't put up much resistance when Tatsumi offered to wash the dishes. Instead he picked up a dishtowel and set to drying the dishes as Tatsumi handed to them.

Watari made them more tea, and they spent the next few hours not talking about anything in particular, as they settled into Watari's couch. Tatsumi was just beginning to feel more at ease with Watari when 003 zoomed into the room, hooting loudly and quite obviously demanding Watari's attention. 

Blinking in surprise at her antics, Tatsumi watched as Watari stood and walked over to the living room window, opening it to her. 003 hooted again and immediately took off through the window.

Seeing Tatsumi's questioning look, Watari shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"003 likes to fly around the Meifu at night. I forgot to leave my bedroom window open for her again, I suppose."

Realizing just how late it was, Tatsumi felt a certain degree of reluctance to leave. One look at Watari, however, quickly changed his mind. The other man looked, quite frankly, exhausted. And then there was the fact that he was feeling more than a little tired himself...

Setting his teacup down next to Watari's Tatsumi was reaching for his jacket when Watari's voice drew his attention.

"Tatsumi?"

Turning to look at Watari as the other man sank into the couch cushion, Tatsumi felt his pulse quicken. There was something almost...vulnerable in the Watari's eyes just then. Something that he couldn't remember having seen before.

"Yes, Watari?"

Oh but it was just so easy to fall back on polite manners rather than what he was feeling - thinking - at that moment. So, so easy.

"Why did you invite me to dinner?" Watari asked, leaning close to him, golden eyes questioning.

When Tatsumi didn't answer right away, Watari drew back, turning his head away to hide the flash of hurt in his eyes.

"It was because of Hisoka, right? He asked you to check in on me, didn't he?"

Oh but it was easy to forget polite manners in the face of Watari's pain rather than ignore what he was feeling - thinking - at that moment. So, so easy.

Smiling, Tatsumi reached up to catch Watari's chin in his hand. Gently turning his head so that he was facing him, Tatsumi shook his head.

"No. I told you he mentioned that you'd missed lunch, Watari. I wanted to ask you to dinner with me."

"Why?"

Tatsumi smiled again, lifting his other hand to brush a sweep of honey-gold hair from Watari's eyes.

"For the same reason you 'played doctor' earlier, I would imagine." 

Watari's eyes widened, a slight flush creeping over his cheeks.

Tatsumi thought it noteworthy that despite his obvious embarrassment, Watari made no move to pull away from him.

Encouraging, that.

"Watari..."

The other man moved closer, golden eyes searching Tatsumi's face.

"Tatsumi..."

They didn't say anything else, simply taking in each other's silence and the meaning behind them.

A slow smile spread across Tatsumi's face.

"I think I should have invited you to dinner a long time ago, Watari."

Watari grinned, pulling away from Tatsumi for a moment to make sure that he'd left the window open for 003. That done, he moved closer, resting against Tatsumi's shoulder. Moments later Tatsumi's arm wound around his shoulders.

"Hmmm...maybe. But what would you have cooked?" Watari asked, twining a lock of hair around his fingers absently.

"I'm sure I could have come up with something. Some places actually deliver."

Laughing, Watari wriggled a little to get comfortable against Tatsumi. Sighing happily, he drifted off to sleep while Tatsumi ran his fingers through his hair. The last thing that crossed his mind before sleep took him in its waiting arms was how he was going to thank Hisoka for so unexpectedly being a meddler. 

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