Roses in December by silvershadeus
God gave us memory so that we might
have roses in December.
~ Sir James M. Barrie ~
'What do you wish most for?'
It was an old question...sometimes
it seemed as though they all were, really. Old enough to make him wonder 'why',
and did anyone really care anymore? He wasn't sure if he did himself at times.
Other times though…other times he remembered.
'What would make you
happiest?'
The pain, when it came, was expected. Sharper than any
blade forged by mortal or god, it cut him to the center of his being. Of who he
was...who he had been, and maybe what could have been. It ached in that way such
things had a way of doing. In that way that he knew so well because he'd had
nothing but time to get to know it. Had spent unknown amounts of that same time
mapping the shape of it. Had spent so much of his time learning to exist with it
that it was just another part of who he was now.
'What would it take
to make you smile?'
He'd thought he'd known the answer to that one a
long time ago. It was surprising really, how simple it had been. But that was
him, wasn't it? Absurdly easy to please. The smallest thing, a simple act of
kindness and he was putty in anyone's hands. A simple gesture of
friendship...something to let him know that someone cared. That he was at the
very least liked, if not loved. Something so very simple, but oh what it did for
him. How it made him feel.
'That's all you want?'
He used
to smile at that one. He knew what the other was thinking, of course. He'd
always known.
'Anything in the world, and that's what you
want?'
More than anything, in fact. The only thing. All he'd ever
wanted, ever needed. Maybe he should have said so more often? Maybe it would
have a made a difference in the end. Maybe...?
"Maybe you think
too much."
Oh he'd definitely heard that one before. More times
than he could count, actually. More than he'd wanted to, to be truthful. He'd
never been sure what to think when he heard it. Was it meant to hurt, or
-
"Maybe you should come inside before you
freeze."
He honestly couldn't remember if he'd heard that before.
The words themselves were familiar; it was more the tone of voice that caught
his attention. The hint of exasperation blended with anger and... Worry.
Concern.
"It's cold out."
And it was. It really was.
Looking up, he wondered how long he'd been standing there thinking about the
past and reliving old conversations. How long since he'd gained the shadow at
his side.
'Nothing should be that simple.'
But it was. Oh,
but it was.
'What do you wish most for?'
He'd never
answered that first question, knowing he couldn't. Some things were too personal
to share. It had always been the second question that he responded to. Had
always answered without fail, even if he sometimes did so without
words.
'What would make you happiest?'
The answer, when it
came, was amazingly simple. It had always been so for him. A hand held out to
him, offering the promise of warmth. Of acceptance. Welcome.
'That's
all you want?'
He smiled as warm fingers curled around
his.
'Anything in the world, and that's what you
want?'
Gently squeezing the hand that held his, he allowed himself to
be led to the inviting warmth he could see through the open doorway before
them