A Ghost Story by Hoshiko and silvershadeus - Part 1

It had to have been well past midnight when I got the call. I've known Shuuichi for years, so I was used to getting phone calls in the middle of the night from him. I didn't even notice anything different about that particular phone call until I realized what he was been saying. He was crying - a common enough occurrence for him - so I hadn't been paying as close attention as I probably should have. All I heard was him repeating a word over and over again in between his sobs and occasional sniffling. Normally when he called me I let him cry himself out before trying to get any sense out of him. Attempting anything else at that point usually wouldn't work. 

And then I heard what he was saying. 

Not a word...but a name. The name of someone who had died years ago. A name that none of us dared utter anywhere near him because we all knew how much the possessor of that name had meant to him. The two of them had been like brothers. They had done everything together. They had gone to school together. And they had very nearly died together. 

I'm not sure of the specifics of the accident - only that it was a miracle that anyone survived it. Somehow though...Shuuichi did. Call it an act of God, or even the grace of God - but Shuuichi is still alive and still very much in one piece. And we are all grateful for that fact. He may be flighty, impulsive and emotionally oversensitive - but he's our Shuuichi. We would all be poorer for not knowing him.

No one is sure of just how Shuuichi managed to survive the accident...it's rumored that it was because of his friend's sacrifice that he is still with us today. I had just met Shuuichi then and barely knew his friend. His closest friend. The one he had grown up with and shared all of his dreams with. 

Which made hearing what he had been saying all the more painful. 

"I saw him, Suguru! I saw him! It was Hiro!"

"Shuuichi..."

I had no idea what to think. Perhaps he had had one of his dreams again? He'd been having so many of them and he was absolutely convinced that they were real most of the time. It had gotten to the point where he'd been having problems discerning his dreams from reality. 

"...You think I dreamt the whole thing, don't you?"

There had been an almost petulant tone in his voice - something between anger and frustration. After the accident his parents had started giving in to him more and more, allowing him to get away with things he hadn't been able to before. I think that they were just happy that he hadn't totally withdrawn from society and life in general that they were willing to put up with anything. As a result he was used to getting his way, and he hated it when anyone argued with him - even when it was for his own good. As it very often was.

"Shuuichi...I didn't say that, but... Hiroshi's dead. You know that, Shuuichi. You know that."

Of course he knew. They'd found him holding Hiroshi's body, whispering to him not to leave him alone, covered in his blood. His sister told me later that when they tried to separate him from the...body...that Shuuichi started screaming and didn't stop until one of the paramedics sedated him.

Sometimes with Shuuichi being blunt and to the point works best. And sometimes that means that you have to be a little cruel to get your point across. It keeps him from grasping at loopholes in your arguments - and it keeps you from going mad with frustration. 

He's not stupid; we all know that. He's proven himself again and again to be a very resourceful, intelligent person. It's just that he's found it easier to act like a spoiled brat in order to get what he wants. Failing that, he feigns ignorance. And he is very, very good at that.

"I'm telling you Suguru, I saw Hiro! He was right outside my window! He was right here!"

He'd started crying again, and I was losing my patience fast. I've known him for five years now - more than long enough to be used to his typical antics.

"Shuuichi...how could he have been there? He's dead, Shuuichi. Let his memory rest in - "

Shuuichi cut me off before I could finish my sentence, and he was furious. 

"Dammit Suguru! Don't you think I know he's dead? I was there, Suguru! I was holding him when he died! I know Hiro's dead! You don't have to keep telling me that! I...I know already..."

I didn't say anything for a long moment, my heart aching for Shuuichi at the pain and raw misery I'd heard in his voice. The one thing you could never accuse Shuuichi of was hiding his emotions. It simply isn't in his nature to do such a thing. If he was happy, the whole world knew about it. If he was sad, the same was true. If his heart was breaking - yours did too.

I felt the sting of tears at the back of my easy as he cried, something I hadn't felt in far too long. If Shindou Shuuichi was someone who never hid his feelings - then I was his opposite. I'd learned at an early age that emotions could be used against you and had learned to defend against such an eventuality by simply not showing emotion. And then I met Shuuichi.

He has a way of reaching out to people and drawing them to him without even realizing what it is he's doing. There's just something about him that catches your eye - and eventually your heart. There's just something about him that makes you want to protect him as much as you can, however you can.

"If you know that, Shuuichi...then what was it you saw?" I asked him once he managed to get himself back under control. 

I didn't want to antagonize him any further, but I needed him to start thinking rationally. More than likely he had been caught up in one of his dreams again and when he'd woken had imagined he'd seen Hiroshi outside his window. He'd done that often enough right after the accident. And although it had been years since that had happened, it was still a possibility. 

"Shuuichi?"

He sighed, and I could almost see the defeated slump to his shoulders.

"I don't know, Suguru. I just don't know. He looked so real...I thought maybe for a moment that..."

I frowned when he trailed off, sitting up and throwing off my covers. He'd sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself of something he knew wasn't true. Which worried me more than I would have liked to admit. If he really thought that he'd seen Hiroshi and not just imagined it...

"What, Shuuichi? Maybe for a moment what?"

He sighed again, and this time I could hear him moving around in his apartment. 

"I thought that maybe for a moment he'd come back. That maybe he wasn't dead...you know...that maybe I'd imagined the accident. Pretty stupid, huh?"

It hurt to hear him sounding the way he had. As though he'd just had all of his deepest wishes and desires granted - only to have them snatched away in that same instant. And it hurt to hear him trying to laugh it off like some stupid prank. 

"Oh Shuuichi... No. No it isn't stupid, Shuuichi. It's not stupid."

I think that at that moment I would have been willing to give up everything I owned - everything I had - to make Shuuichi happy again. I would have done anything - moved mountains if I'd had to - just to hear the smile in his voice again.

"You would say that, Suguru. You're too good a friend to me." He said, his voice no more than a whisper. "I'm sorry I bothered you this late at night...I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

I could hear him drawing into himself then. He did that sometimes, like a turtle seeking shelter in the safety of his shell. He might not have been able to hide his emotions - but he could hide himself. And he did so exceedingly well.

"Shuuichi..."

I don't know what I wanted to say to him, but I never got the chance. He hung up before I could. I suppose I could blame my upbringing for being so hesitant when it came to dealing with my feelings, but that wouldn't have done anyone - especially myself - any good at the moment.

"Good night, Shuuichi." I said, listening to the dial tone buzz in my ear. "I'll see you tomorrow."

To be continued...

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